Who's responsible anyway?

I always tell others to be responsible enough. It's for their own good, I thought. I always speak of responsibility as if I am a master of one. But am I really responsible enough to speak such thing to others and to judge them as if they are far behind me?

I always have the feeling that I am working better than others because despite the fact that I am a working student, I am still able to comply with so many school deadlines and I can still get good grades. I know that this is a product of the gift of being able to cope up with stress and pressure easily and of course of the good head that I luckily received from God. And with this thought, I know that I'm being boastful to myself sometimes. But I never let my head grow too big. I am not the perfect student and I can't say that my works are enough to insist that I can't be compare to anyone. Now I thought, what really I have become this past month to say that I am responsible enough to hold on my future with confidence, to seize the idea that I am a good student, nothing else than that, and to say that I am not doing anything bad?

That's being too confident, isn't it?

I do pressure myself to be able to accomplish things. I sleep late or most often I do not sleep just to finish school works and articles, and review lessons. I work four hours a day in CTHM and seven hours every Wednesday. But there are days that I need to sacrifice my work for my studies. In fact, I already consumed the maximum absences in duties allowed for working scholars which is six. I often feel shy and sorry to my supervisors every time I am not in the office because I know that helping them is the only thing that I can do to pay them back their goodness. I always wanted to let them feel that I am grateful that they are giving me the chance to study in the university, though sometimes I know that my body can't do all things at the same time.
I am irresponsible in my work, i thought, if i will always resort to taking time from my duty hours. If I am really responsible, I will be able to balance things between my work and my study. I can't always reason for myself and say that I needed the break. I can't always think that I am reasonable.

Today I am absent again because I have fever and worst, I have pending works to do. I left the design for CTHM's graduation souvenir unfinished. I still have article to pass which the deadline is actually yesterday and I needed to finish my journal, critique paper for Retorika, thesis assignments, Dapitan literary article and Literature homeworks. Hell! I'm dead. Here I am now, lying in bed  the whole day and can't finish anything. That is so being irresponsible of me. I should have finished things last weekend.

I have to stand up now and fix myself and do those things now. If not I will be really dead tomorrow.

I can't really judge others in terms of being responsible because things like this happen. What can I say now?