The topic made me stare for a while and evaluate my experiences, which was actually a few moments of boring realization. [But I have to!] Of all those sacrifices, fun, achievements, failures or whatever I could tell people of, what really changed my life? What moment brought change and turn the wheels of my car into different direction?
I'll say it was the moment when I decided to be a working scholar. Of course, the same answer as usual. Let's see how did it change my life.
When I entered UST, I had an academic scholarship. That indeed was a great help for my parents since that year they were supporting my brother's nursing education. But because of the fear that I may fail to comply with the grade requirement of the scholarship, I applied for a working scholarship. After few examinations and interviews, I passed. I passed but it was a hard decision for me. Would I choose to be a working scholar or an academic scholar? When I considered my parents, I said choosing the former might be a big help for them. So after thinking hundred times, I accepted San Lorenzo Scholarship. Then I was assigned at the College of Tourism and Hospitality Management.
The decision meant a lot for me.
When I decided to work for CTHM, I needed to turn my back from the things that I love doing in school. Few years ago, when I was in high school, I always join academic competitions, organizations and extra-curricular activities. That's my life. I enjoyed everything about school activities. I reached national competitions, danced for the pride of the school and met other people in the course of those activities. I lose the chance of experiencing the same thing in the pontifical University of Santo Tomas. Before I enter college, I said I will strive to be one of the best student in the university where I will study. After enrolling in UST, I thought of joining the publication of The Varsitarian, the debate team of Arts and Letters, the dance troupe of Journalism Society. But when I started working on June 22, 2008, I had to give up those plans. I said maybe in my second year in college i could join. The semesters went on and I felt the intention of joining competitions like pautakan and debate, and even the student body. But I had to ignore that intention because I knew that working and studying at the same time would already be hard for me and i could not afford to add other things to my college list. I had to keep my grades high because that was an expectation of me and I also had to deliver good works in the office. That year, I enjoyed being in CTHM despite sacrificing my wants. Then I said I could go on like this for four years.
Semesters and academic years past and I've been enjoying my college life (well in general since I also complain a lot of times). If it is not for the hospitality and care of those in the office, I will not be able to adjust and enjoy everything. But still, hard times knock me out.
I was in third year when I had to always choose between working or finishing my school works and assignments. Even though I felt ashamed of always being absent in CTHM, I endured it. In myself, I always said I need to keep my grades on the track. (You see, I can sacrifice other things but not my grades and definitely not learning). After that year, I got a poor evaluation grade. My supervisor told me that they understood me but he also explained that I have to balance everything. Indeed despite my experiences, I still was not able to learn the right attitude in working.
I realized I have to grow up. Well, that brought to learning more things because of that one decision. These things are:
- Being strong.
- Being responsible and reliable
- Learning how to deliver quality works while managing to achieve good school remarks
- Being independent and mature
- BALANCING everything in LIFE (including love life :p)
I can't name all the things that I learn but I know that I am different, a lot different, from the Carissa that I have been four years ago.
I grasped reality and I knew that one day my experience as a working student would definitely help me. More than the privileges and the rights and the free tuition that I enjoyed as such, I would say, the lessons that it taught me mattered a lot and changed me a lot.
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